100th

I went to the mall today after work. I don’t go to the mall much, maybe go into JC Penney and/or Dillards. The mall was a place Peyton and I went together, just me and him. I loved that time with him, shopping for his clothes, athletic shoes etc. (maybe spoiling him a little)

I went in the front entrance and walked right past American Eagle. That was where we bought a lot of his stuff (until the cowboy phase hit). The smell of the cologne permeates the hallway. Even so, I did much better emotionally than I have in the past. I am grateful for the healing, but it is still sad.

As I was driving to my next destination, I was praying and thanking God for all the blessings in my life and the emotional healing. I am truly grateful. I was sitting in the drive thru at Chik-fil-a, still praying. I told God, “I know you are with me, but right now I want something tangible. I want to be the 100th customer. I want to “know” in an earthly sense that You are with me.”

I drove up to pay for my food and the cow bell was ringing and they handed me a rose…….and my free meal. God heaped a blessing on me with those free nuggets. The Creator of the universe said yes to my carnal request. I am a child of the King and I feel spoiled.

If you are not familiar with Chik-fil-A, every 100th customer gets their meal for free. It is the best chicken ever.

Prom 2010

Prom was last night.  I love these kids and am so glad they shared part of their night with us.  Everyone looked fabulous and very grown-up.

    

There was a DVD played at the prom with pictures of everyone.  They included Peyton’s picture too.  They have no idea what that means to us.  They didn’t do it for our benefit; we weren’t even there.  They did it because he is part of them and they miss him too.

It’s been hard lately.  All the senior activities, including last night’s prom are “in your face” reminders that Peyton is not here.  Even so, I want to experience them.  Tom & I love these kids so much.  It has been a privilege to see them grow into young adults. 

I have also been working lots of hours and Saturdays (tax season).  Being tired makes me more susceptible to the emotions of grief.  I’ve let the extra hours at work get in my way of spending enough time in God’s Word or in prayer.  Why?  He is what gives me strength, my life.  I don’t want to do life on my own, even if I didn’t have the grief battle.

Father God I will spend more time with You, in prayer and in Your word.  Thank you Lord, that You never give up on me and are with me always.  I am a work in progress.

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Resurrection Sunday

Resurrection Sunday, what a glorious day.   What an amazing reminder of our future.

Where, O death, is your victory?
      Where, O death, is your sting?

I Cor 15:55

We had a family gathering today and those always magnify the fact that Peyton is not here.  I have had some difficult moments, but I am grateful.

Grateful for

the fact that this earthly life is temporary

my Godly husband

the love God shows me through others

opportunities to show God’s love

a loving church family

God’s word

the future of a Heavenly reunion

Sometimes my heart feels like death has a sting, but it doesn’t.   Physical death put Peyton in the midst of LOVE,  a Love our human minds can’t comprehend.  I have to keep focused on the fact that everything I see is temporary and we will be reunited for eternity. 

Thanks for reading.