Love and Fear

“The strongest person you will ever meet is a person who knows how much God loves them.”  This is paraphrased from something my Pastor said this morning.

Isn’t that so true!?!?!?!!!!! 

People have told me I am strong.  I’ve never felt I was particularly strong.  I have some really low moments.  But I do know how much God loves me.  The fact that God loved me, was the only thing I was sure of after Peyton’s accident.

I John 4:18

¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Having the confidence of God’s love, enables us to live this life without fear. 

I see people living in fear and they don’t even realize it. 

Fear of rejection

Fear of death

Fear of failure

Fear of not being enough

Fear of not finding or being loved

God loves us so much.  Live life fearless.  Live life as though you know how much you are loved by the Creator of the universe.  If you don’t know or if no one has told you, read the following Bible verse.

John 3:16

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Don’t be skeered; leave a comment!!!  I know they will be  very good and thought provoking.

Thanks for reading : )

Spoiled to the Max

I’ve been spoiled these last 3 yrs and 5 months.  How?  I’ve had major events to celebrate my son and bring him to people’s minds. 

Peyton Jackson Memorial Baseball Tournament – 4 times

Presenting the Peyton Jackson Memorial Scholarship – 3 times

Football Program pages – 2 times

Visiting Stuart’s parents in Colorado – 1  time

Stuart’s parents visiting us – 1 time

Annual PDJ Let ‘em Have It Shoot-out – 1 time

Peyton’s Class’s Graduation

The Quilt

ESPN story

These celebrations have been a tremendous blessing to us.  It allows us to talk about Peyton and remember with friends.  They have been a constant reassurance that people haven’t forgotten. 

The way I’ve been spoiled the most is right here on this blog.  I get to ramble away about my son (and post pictures :)) and people who have never met him, get to know him and then they support me with wonderful comments.

Yes, I am spoiled.  I am abundantly blessed beyond measure. 

I’ve said that I want to write about other things.  That hasn’t happened too often………..yet.  Keep reading, cause God isn’t through with me.

Thanks for reading : )

ESPN Link

The past couple of days Tom and I have experienced a lot of emotions.  

 

The story on rodeo safety aired Sunday morning.  It was hard for us to watch, especially for Tom, it was Father’s Day.  Even though it was difficult, it was a good for us.  It’s an amazing thing to see your son’s picture on national television.  We both wished it was for a different reason.

 

I’ve received many positive comments on Facebook and numerous texts about the show.  It is good to be loved and cared for.

 

Below is the link to our segment.  If you don’t know how this all came about, you can read about it in this post.

 

Thanks to everyone who supports us and misses Peyton with us.  We love you and appreciate you so much.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xcWdYKyuSg

 
Thanks for reading (and watching). : )

Fathers Day Tribute to the Best Fathers I Know

Being sentimental today and posting some pictures.  Thanks for letting me share them with you.

Tom had the best dad and he taught Tom how to be a great dad.  He has been in Heaven since 1996.

 

 

Three generations, a very joyful day.

 

Sleeping dad, sleeping baby boy.

 

Laughing boy, laughing.

 

A horse that was in a pasture behind our house.

 

It’s the little things that make Tom a great dad.  Helping Peyton brush his teeth : )

 

Oh my goodness, how I love this one.

 

Tom was Peyton’s first bull.

 

Wiping down Peyton’s 4 wheeler so he could bring it back into the house.

 

I love how they are lying exactly alike.  I guess that’s why I took the pic.

 

Playin’

 

Successful hunt

 

A very successful hunt : )

 

They shelled pecans for me every year for baking.  Tom still does.

 

Christmas 2007, Peyton’s last one on earth.  How I treasure the pictures taken that holiday.

      

I hope your Fathers Day is a happy one.

Thanks for reading : )

Lacking Substance?

A good friend read my last blog post and then ask me some questions.  Questions I should have answered in the post, but didn’t.  It got me to thinking.  Have I glossed over too much lately?  Am I lacking substance in my posts?  I have and yes, my posts are lacking substance.

I haven’t wanted to post anything.  I don’t want to examine the changes my life is continuing to go through.   I have been superficial to make it easier to write. 

I decided when I first started this blog I would tell all, good, bad and the ugly.  It’s not really all that ugly, but it is deep and new to me.  I have mentioned “growing as a person”, “God bringing change into my life”, “letting go of limits” and “stepping out of my comfort zone”, but haven’t gone into detail.  I don’t want to be conscious of the changes, because then I will have to face how pitiful I was before.  : )

Changes

Working out – not confining myself to the treadmill, but venturing out into kettle bell workouts & kick boxing.  I’ve been wanting to do kick boxing for some time.  I’m not far into either of these, but I will be, there is no stopping or turning back.  No more excuses.

Bow Shooting – This activity was so foreign to me.  That was the reason to do it!!!!!!

Doing things myself.  It is very easy to fall into “I can’t do ___________ by myself”, when you have a great partner who will do it with you or FOR YOU. 

I wasn’t alone when I went to Boston, but Tom wasn’t there for me to count on if things got difficult.  Boston is great, but doing it on my own was the most beneficial part of the trip.

I shampooed the living room carpet.  This seems so random, but I had never done it before.  Tom did it for us.  I realized I could do it and I did.  Tom wasn’t even home : )   There are several small things like this that I have done lately.  It makes me feel capable and accomplished.

If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, I hope you find these confessions of inadequacy strange and out of character.  God has graced me in some areas and I am grateful.  God is showing me other areas to change and He is pruning me.  I am grateful for this too.  I will not stop growing!!!!!!!!

Thanks for reading :)

and here’s a picture of my boy, cause I am really missing him.

World Traveler?…….only the U.S. so far :)

Another journey out of my comfort zone.

I have flown 3 times in my life.  All three times have been since Peyton has been in Heaven.  This time was the first time to fly without my husband.  God has brought some very cool opportunities to me.  He loves me so much.

Do you know this skyline?  It was the view from my hotel room a week ago.

Boston Massachusetts!!!!!! 

I had a wonderful trip with a great lady.  We are friends, co-workers, sisters in Christ and we graduated high school together!!

We were there for a work conference.  We were able to fit in some sight seeing.  Boston is a great city.

Street Performer

 

Fresh flower stand.

 

Caroline and I after our carriage ride through the city.

 

This is embedded in the sidewalk.  There is  a 2.5 mile Freedom Trail you can follow of historical landmarks

Statue of Paul Revere.  Yes, there is a Bruins jersey on it.  The locals were very proud of it.  I don’t know if they put it on him or not :)

  

I took this picture while on a trolley tour.  I wish I would have seen it up close.  It is a Holocaust memorial.  The six columns represent the smokestacks from the ovens in the concentration camps.  There are  victims’ names engraved on the walls of the columns.  Such a horrific event that we should not forget. 

My life is changing in ways I would not have imagined.  It is full of good things and I am growing as a person.  God doesn’t want us to remain the same.  God’s character stays the same, but He is a progressive and mobile God.  He wants us to go beyond.  Beyond what we can even imagine.  I am continually letting go of preconceived ideas and limits.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  I am More than a Conqueror……….and so are you!!!!

Thanks for reading :)

p.s.

The ESPN show about rodeo safety that I talked about in this post, is supposed to air this Sunday, June 19th.  It is going to be on the show “Outside the Lines” on ESPN2, 9:00 a.m. central time.

I do not know how much they will use of the footage they took of us or how much they will mention Peyton.  I don’t believe that was the purpose them coming.  You can read about that in this post too ;)

A New Hobby

I have been stepping out of my comfort zone…….a lot. 

The new hobby I mentioned in the previous post is bow shooting.  I don’t plan on hunting.  I’m shooting at targets only.  I know there are bow competitions held around here.  Who knows?  I may sign up for one :)

Here is what happened the first time I shot.

Two huge bruises on my forearm.  Bruises I learned from.

Sorry for the blurriness.  I am having camera issues.

I’m all healed up and shooting again, getting more accurate all the time (and stronger, pulling back that bow is not easy)

This is Mrs. Peanut, she is getting good!!!

 

I love this pic of Tom and I shooting together.  A symbol of change, new interests and living life.

 

I can’t help but think of Peyton when I shoot.  I know he would be so proud of his mom!!!

Thanks for reading :)