Sunday, January 13, 2013

Mainstreamed

Yesterday marked the 5 year anniversary of our son Peyton going to Heaven.  5 years.  Sounds like a very long time.  It is.  It is a very long time to miss someone.

Lickin

I think back to that first year and how fragile I felt.  We live in a very small town so virtually everyone we came in contact with, knew what had happened and what we were living with.  We were very well taken care of and had so much love shown to us. 

The second year was more of the same.  Tom and I always felt like so many people missed our son and we were all healing together,  holding each other up with our prayers and support.

The third year had challenges of its own.  Peyton’s class graduated from high school that year.  Tom & I were included in all the activities.  Being included felt good in so many ways.  We celebrated Peyton’s friends’ milestones, but he was not there.  Many tears were shed that year too.

The fourth year was hard.  So many of the kids that were in and out of our home had gone away to college.  Would they forget him?  Would they forget us?  No, they did not forget.  Facebook kept us in touch.  Even so, I believe Tom & I had to stand on our own two feet more during the fourth year, it was time.  Time and time again we had been shown that Peyton was in their hearts and they carried him with them.  We were so grateful to know that and it strengthened us.

The fifth year not everyone Tom & I come in contact with knows our life’s story.  I am finally okay with that.  Before, I couldn’t bear the thought of someone I knew, not knowing I had a wonderful son……..in Heaven.  We have been mainstreamed into everyday life without any special considerations or allowances.  I can do that now.   If the question arises whether or not I have children, I tell them, yes, I have a son and he lives in Heaven.  I cannot answer any other way.

We will miss our son until we see him again and there will always be people that miss him with us.  We are grateful.

Yesterday we had a ground breaking ceremony.  We are building a pavilion in our backyard, a place where we can gather with our friends and celebrate life and tell a Peyton story from time to time Smile.  We thought breaking ground on the 5th anniversary would be a perfect thing to do.  I will be posting about the construction and the special event that will be taking place under it in May.

Thanks for reading : )