Enjoying other Blogs

I really appreciate the time people take posting on their blogs. I got on the computer tonight feeling really sad....missing Peyton so much, even crying quite a bit. I just wanted to talk to him and hug him. So, I wiped my tears and decided to check some blogs I frequent. I found Jake had posted 3 TIMES since the last time I checked. Copied, pasted and answered his survey. Commented on a few things. Read a NEW blogger's blog. Got my mind back in the present, focused on blessings and here I am, dry eyed and smiling :) Thanks guys!

Christmas Survey

King of the Blogs (aka Jake) challenged me to post this list with my faves. Here it is Jake and thanks. I can't believe it took me until tonight (Sunday) to read yours!!

1. Do you have a real or artificial tree? 3 artificials, but I love the real ones
2. Do you like eggnog? A little goes a long way
3. Favorite Holiday memory? Suprising Peyton with a gun
4. Favorite Christmas movie of all time? It's a Wonderful Life!!!!
5. What do you have for dinner at Christmas? Ham, turkey, dressing, all the traditional stuff
6. Favorite Christmas song? O Come All Ye Faithful (I love the O Come Let Us Adore Him part)
7. Favorite Christmas treat? Toffee (homemade, of course)
8. Do you put up lights on the outside of your house? Tom puts them up and does a fantastic job!

Copy and paste this to your blog; with your own answers of course.

Committed

Last night Pastor Susan taught on making good decisions. Her message was anointed, as always. The thing that stood out to me most (at the moment) was that God was committed to me. He is committed to blessing me, committed to loving me. He sent His only Son so I could live with Them in eternity. I can have confidence when I pray that He is committed to giving me the guidance I need to make a Godly decision. I am not out here alone, wondering what to do. I just need to get with God and listen. His ear is inclined to me. My ear is inclined to His Spirit and His leading.

Holiday Memories

Spent most of the day decorating for Christmas. It was hard sometimes. I have some dough ornaments Peyton made when he was about 7. I had written his name and date on the back of them. Last year I bought a Santa riding a bull ornament. I wanted to show Peyton we were supporting him in every way. I put it in a prominent place on the tree this year too.

There are some Command hooks around the windows in Peyton's room. I came home from work one day last year and he had put Christmas lights on the inside of his windows. I thought how funny he was to do this. It didn't matter to him that some people would think it out of character for a "cowboy " to put up Christmas lights in his room. But that was just Peyton. He did what he enjoyed and really did live his life to the fullest. I miss him...I respect him...We enjoyed him so much. When I picture him in my mind, he is always smiling and laughing. I know he is still smiling and laughing and will be when I see him again.

Satisfied

A very full and satisfying Thanksgiving. Plenty of family and good food. Some friends stopped by later in the evening. I know they were checking on us, but I'll take it. I love company and having people over for dinner, etc. Sometimes I think about a gathering too much because I want to invite everyone. I am changing that. Life is good. Thank you Lord!

Not Forsaken

The past few days have not been good. I have felt so sad, but I am better now. Yes, I tell myself, Peyton is still gone but I KNOW I will see him again FOREVER! He is in a place where I cannot go right now. As a mom that is a hard thing to take, I want to know what my son is doing, who he is doing it with, etc. God made moms that way. I love Peyton and I miss him and I am thankful. I have not been forsaken, God is caring for me every day. Each time I run to Him, whether it be in tears or praise, He is there. Thank you Lord!

I am thankful for:

My husband
My church family
Salvation
Aaron is coming home for Christmas
Comments on my blog
Blogs that lift me up
Funny stuff (I need to laugh)

Of course I cannot list everything, but making a list gets me thinking on the positive, on the great and wonderful things in my life. I started a list the other day on things to look forward to, I have to say it was not an impressive list. I am going to work on that. My future is bright and as I move the dark out of the way, through prayer and praise to my Lord, I will see it. Amen.

Having a houseful of family over for Thanksgiving and then going to the movie and then back home to eat leftovers. The only bad thing is your too full to eat popcorn at the show, even though it smells so good! Is referring to the movie as "the show" a southern thing. I remember as a kid I lived in Illinois and we always called it the movie, but when I would come to visit Arkansas everyone called it "the show", funny.

Have a Happy, Joyous, Blessing Filled Thanksgiving!!!

Lots of Energy

It is taking lots of energy these days to stay on track. This journey is filled with so many conflicting emotions. I want to be better, but then I think, "How can I be better when Peyton is still gone?" Then I have to talk myself into victory...again. Very tiring.

I am a rip the band-aid off get the pain over with and go on kinda girl and this does not work that way. You deal with the hurt and sadness each time it creeps up, going good for awhile and then here it comes again. The hurt & and sadness do not come as often, but they are just as deep. My God is the same each and every time.

Today I left work early, not much to do. I didn't want to go home, my house was empty, Tom would not be home for a couple of hours. I made a couple of stops in town and then decided to suck it up and go home. Check the email...I have comments on my blog!!! I read them and they are encouraging. Thank you so much, I needed them. God uses us all to bless one another. I am truly blessed.