19

Friday was Peyton’s 19th birthday.  Tom & I took off work, picked up the flowers and went to the cemetery. 

There were a couple of guys at the gravesite when we arrived and they were carving this.

It’s says PDJ.  I don’t know if this is against the rules or not, but it’s there and I love them for it.

I received a text the day before asking if we were “having anything” for Peyton’s birthday. I said we didn’t have anything planned, but we would be home if anyone wanted to stop by.

WE HAD A HOUSEFULL AND LOVED IT!!!!!!!!

 

Tom & I appreciate the support so much.  It means tons that they remember and want to share their memories and their lives with us. 

Saturday marked the day of a new tradition.  I will post about it later.  Thanks for reading :)

Are You Listening?

I was talking to a colleague at work and I told him, “ I am anointed to do my job.”  This really took him by surprise.  I told him I knew I was exactly where God wanted me and I would stay there until He moved me someplace else.  I may work for my present employer until I retire, or God may tell me to leave tomorrow.  I can assure you, if God tells me to leave, it will be the best thing for all concerned that I obey.  He still had a puzzled look on his face and I told him the story of how I came to work there.  A friend called me as I was leaving the house to go to work, and asked me if I would be interested in working in her office.  I cried all the way to work because I knew I would be changing jobs.  Even though I knew it was God, I was going to miss the people I worked with very much. 

This man I was talking to asked me, “how did you know?”  I just knew.  It wasn’t something I knew in my head.  I knew it in my spirit.  God speaks to me.  He didn’t think God spoke to him.  He speaks to ALL of us, but sometimes we are not listening or we have not practiced tuning in to His voice.

He speaks to me in different ways:

Sometimes He speaks to me through His Word    

Sometimes I see visions in my spirit

Sometimes I hear words in my spirit

Sometimes I see words in my spirit

Then there are times there is a “knowing” or a feeling of insistence about a situation.  These things are not going on in my mind.  They are coming to me through my spirit.  That is how God speaks to us.  He is a Spirit and He speaks to our spirit    

 John 10:27

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.              

The Creator of the universe wants to communicate with us.  Prayer should not be a one way street.  We have to take time to listen for the answer.  Prayer will make our spirits more sensitive to His voice.  This enables us to hear from Him in everyday situations, not just when everything is quiet.  He wants to be present in our everyday lives.  He loves us so much.

Friday with Friends – Fall Decorations!

I enjoy decorating for fall!!  The colors are so vibrant.  I’m linked up with Friday with Friends again.  Make sure you check out the other fall decorations.

Welcome!!


Hobby Lobby carved pumpkin :)


Come in!
   

Scarecrow is a must!


Looking forward to having a fire in this!

Pilgrims!


Pilgrims close up :)


Thanks for stopping by!

Friday with Friends – Fall Recipe!

***************************  Revision   ***************************************************
I was reading over this recipe today and saw that the cooking time was wrong, it should be 1 &1/2 hours, NOT 1/2 hours.  Hope this didn't cause any problems for anyone.  Also the recipe says "pour" the batter, it's more like spoon it.  I made it today for the first time this season and it is super thick.

This cake is a favorite of my family and friends.  Hope you will try it and let me know how it turned out :)

3 eggs
2 cups sugar
2 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cup oil
1 cup chopped pecans
3 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
4 apples, peeled and chopped. (I like a tart apple, like granny smith or gala, both good)
Mix eggs, sugar vanilla & oil in bowl.  Mix flour, soda, cinnamon and salt.  Add apples & nuts to dry ingredients.  Mix all together.  Pour into well greased Bundt pan.  Bake for  1 &1/2 hours at 325.  Cool for 15 minutes.

Caramel Sauce
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 butter (use real butter)
1/2 cup whipping cream

Bring to boil.  Serve over slices of cake.

When I take this cake to a gathering, I turn it out onto a serving platter, poke it a few times with a butter knife and then pour the sauce over it.  Good stuff.


I'm linked up with Friday with Friends.  Hop on over there for more fall recipes!!

Tipping the Balance…….in my favor.

During the last (almost 3) years, I have discovered that my hard times dealing with missing Peyton come in cycles.  I can feel myself getting stronger and then it gets really hard for awhile.  Satan really pours it on as I am gaining ground.  It is a battle.  It is a battle I am winning.  I am stronger and happier now than I have been in a very long time. 

Tom and I were talking last night and I told him, “I feel good enough to stay this way until we get to Heaven”.  I was saying that I have enough good days and happy moments that I could stay at this level of “grief recovery” and be fine with it.  I think of Peyton constantly and have a balance of smiles and tears.  I smile enough that I don’t feel utter devastation; I cry enough that I don’t feel I am forgetting. 

I know this level is not where God intends me to stop.  He doesn’t want me to be satisfied.  He doesn’t want me to be “fine”.  He created me to be more than a conqueror. 

A couple of boys guys came over with a deer one of them harvested yesterday and stayed for quite awhile to visit.  My friend was also here and she asked me if I was ok.  I said, “We are living the life we were intended to have, but Peyton is supposed to be here.”  No matter how full our life becomes it will never swallow up the hole we have because Peyton is not here.  Knowing that gives me confidence to get better.  Knowing that I will never forget him and how much we love him, strengthens me so I can let go of the grief. 

I have avoided blogging because I didn’t want to NOT write about grief or missing Peyton.  I have other things to say, but didn’t want to let go of my favorite topic, so I wrote nothing.  I don’t know what I will be writing about in the future.  I do have a few more Peyton stories that I will sprinkle in now and then.  I hope you’ll keep reading and commenting.

This Mop is Sweet!!!!!!

This is not a paid endorsement…….as if there are thousands of people reading this and the Shark company is jamming my email with offers.  Sorry for the sarcasm.

For the people who are reading this blog, I had to share my enthusiasm for this mop.  I’ve never been one to use a bucket and mop.  I used the kitchen sink and I rinsed the mop after each pass on the floor.  I couldn’t imagine that dunking a dirty mop into dirty water then smearing it across the floor would result in clean floors.  If I was feeling really industrious, I got down on my hands and knees and wiped down every inch.  While I was down there I was praying to God that He would send His cleaning angels from Heaven to clean the floors.  That didn’t happen.  There probably aren’t any cleaning angels, because Heaven doesn’t get dirty. 

Our home has a lot of tile, hence my search for an easy, effective way to clean hard floors.  I’ve been using the Shark for a month.  The fact that I have actually USED it 3 times in that month is proof positive that it is awesome!!  It’s no big deal to get this baby out and glide it across the floor.  If you choose to watch this video….believe it!!!  Everything it says is TRUE!!!!

I also like the fact that I don’t need cleaner.  There is no chemical smell after I am finished.

I think you need one :)

 

Stuart & Peyton, a.k.a. Stuart

I believe I’ve mentioned before the fact that Peyton was nicknamed Stuart by his rodeo friends.  This was no accident.

Stuart Mazanec went to Heaven April 26, 2006, a year & approximately 8 months before Peyton. 

I think the similarities are striking.  Both long and lean with a love of the outdoors, hunting and fishing with their dads.  (and they love their mommas too)  Their last similarity was rodeo.  Stuart liked the bucking broncs and Peyton liked the bulls.  Stuart was at a bronc riding clinic when he had his fatal accident.  Peyton was bucked off a bull.  I found Stuart’s story on the internet when I “googled” rodeo deaths.  I believe God led me there.  I was compelled to read Stuart’s story because of the nickname. 

I read the article over and over, even looking at his myspace page regularly over a six month period.  Finally, I wrote his family.  His mom and I started emailing each other right away, sometimes several times a day.  Within a few months, Tom & I flew out to meet them.  I had never done anything like that before.  It was totally out of my comfort zone.  I anticipated the visit so much.  I had to keep telling myself over and over that I would not be meeting Stuart when we got there.  Even now, I miss a young man I have never met.

This picture is of the jacket of the guy who named Peyton, Stuart. (the birthdate is wrong, but it doesn’t matter)

Here is a decal that another rodeo friend had made.

I took these pictures with us on our visit, so Stuart’s family would know this whole “Stuart” thing was real and I wasn’t some crazy stalker.  They would have never thought that but I took them anyway. :)

We have a bond with this family unlike any other.  We love them and we love their son. 

I wrote all this to say, God is good.  He gives us promptings and leadings to bless our lives.  God prompted Peyton’s friend to call him Stuart.  I knew God wanted me to write Stuart’s family.  What if I hadn’t?  My life would be less if I did not know them. 

Right now the enemy is whispering in my ear, ‘why didn’t God warn you of Peyton’s accident?’  ‘why didn’t He tell you not to let him ride?’  I don’t know.  It doesn’t matter.  What I do know is that God loves me and cares for me in ways that I cannot fathom.  Satan would like it so much if I were to doubt God.  It’s not going to happen.

Please do not comment that “everything happens for a reason”.  I wrote how I feel about that in this post.

Here’s a few more pictures, just because.

Oh Stuart, I wish we were ALL there.  I know you and Peyton are having a great time.  I can’t wait to meet you.