Sunday, January 13, 2013


Yesterday marked the 5 year anniversary of our son Peyton going to Heaven.  5 years.  Sounds like a very long time.  It is.  It is a very long time to miss someone.


I think back to that first year and how fragile I felt.  We live in a very small town so virtually everyone we came in contact with, knew what had happened and what we were living with.  We were very well taken care of and had so much love shown to us. 

The second year was more of the same.  Tom and I always felt like so many people missed our son and we were all healing together,  holding each other up with our prayers and support.

The third year had challenges of its own.  Peyton’s class graduated from high school that year.  Tom & I were included in all the activities.  Being included felt good in so many ways.  We celebrated Peyton’s friends’ milestones, but he was not there.  Many tears were shed that year too.

The fourth year was hard.  So many of the kids that were in and out of our home had gone away to college.  Would they forget him?  Would they forget us?  No, they did not forget.  Facebook kept us in touch.  Even so, I believe Tom & I had to stand on our own two feet more during the fourth year, it was time.  Time and time again we had been shown that Peyton was in their hearts and they carried him with them.  We were so grateful to know that and it strengthened us.

The fifth year not everyone Tom & I come in contact with knows our life’s story.  I am finally okay with that.  Before, I couldn’t bear the thought of someone I knew, not knowing I had a wonderful son…… Heaven.  We have been mainstreamed into everyday life without any special considerations or allowances.  I can do that now.   If the question arises whether or not I have children, I tell them, yes, I have a son and he lives in Heaven.  I cannot answer any other way.

We will miss our son until we see him again and there will always be people that miss him with us.  We are grateful.

Yesterday we had a ground breaking ceremony.  We are building a pavilion in our backyard, a place where we can gather with our friends and celebrate life and tell a Peyton story from time to time Smile.  We thought breaking ground on the 5th anniversary would be a perfect thing to do.  I will be posting about the construction and the special event that will be taking place under it in May.

Thanks for reading : )


Anonymous said...

Perfectly said! Love you guys.
Malinda McSpadden

Sydney McCain said...

We will always remember that crazy red head. Love you!

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

Wow, 5 years? We will hit that milestone in August. I can't believe it has been that long... sometimes it seems like yesterday but more often than not, it seems like a lifetime ago.

Praying for you and Tom. So thankful that God has brought us together to pray for and support each other. He has a plan and purpose for all the hurt and missing... 5 years is a long time. But then again, you are 5 years CLOSER to seeing Peyton again! And that is worth rejoicing over... because then it will be FOREVER.

I can't wait to see and hear more about this pavilion!

You encourage me. Just by pressing on, my sister in Christ.


Kay said...

Five years is a long time. We hit 11 this year. It seems unreal. I so understand what you're saying. It is hard when life moves on and then it seems as though the people we come in contact with have no idea that our lives at one time took a different shape. Had a casual conversation the other day with someone I don't know well and I finally volunteered it because simple things were said that would not make sense to her outside that context. It's a strange life indeed. Excited about your pavilion and watching it take shape. I love that kinda stuff. : )

Kelley said...

I can't believe it has been 5 years. With my brother it seems so long ago and just like yesterday too. Weird isn't it! I can't wait to see your pictures! I think that is a fantastic idea!