Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A Whirlwind of Social Activity

Maybe “whirlwind” is overstating my social life just a tad, but we have had some fun times the past two nights.

What do a Horse Trainer, an investment broker, a realtor, a school teacher, a nurse, a lab tech and a business owner all have in common?


They were all at my house for a small reunion. A few of my high school classmates came to dinner Tuesday night. Lots of laughs and catching up. It is good to have friends that have known you forever. You only have to tell half of a story and everybody starts laughing….except the spouses. (Sorry honey, at least you got a home cooked meal)

Tonight, Tom and I met some people for a birthday celebration. Andrew is 15!!!!


That was some tasty cake. Strawberry cake with camouflage icing, yummy.

This is where we ate.


It’s one of those Japanese style places, where the chef cooks the food at your table. Very entertaining and goooooooood!!






Stay tuned for the rest of the story. After we ate, we went and visited someone special. I’ll give a little hint; he weighs 8 lbs 13 oz and is 22.5 inches long. I’m ready to introduce him, but his story isn’t quite ready yet.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Peyton’s Jacket

I have given away many of Peyton’s things.  I took pictures of anything that was important to Tom & I and for the most part let them go.  I did keep a particular jacket. 

Peyton and I went shopping together for him a new jacket right before his last Christmas with us.  This is what he picked out.


As we were looking through the racks, he said, “ I need to find one that looks good with my hat.”  He was talking about his cowboy hat.  I think he found the right one.


The girl in the picture is my cousin’s daughter from California.

It was very cold the day of his funeral.  I carried this jacket and put it around my legs during the graveside service. 

As the anniversary date rolls around again, I am having to fight the emotions more often.  I tell myself it is just a date on the calendar, but it is more.  The smells, wood burning in the stove, the winter meals I cook, etc. make it feel like I have stepped back in time 2 yrs.  We basically do the same things year after year and we replay the same routines only Peyton is not here to fill his role.  The last memories are so strong, I sometimes wonder when he is coming home. 

I don’t have words for myself that will resolve these feelings.  I do know that God is always with me and will never leave me.  I will see Peyton again.

I know that the coming year holds new and exciting challenges for Tom and I.  We will embrace them and fulfill the call God has on our lives.  I am excited about what He would have us do.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas – the 2nd Time Around

Christmas this year was easier than last year, but it was hard just the same. It was hard to keep my mind focused on the here and now. My mind kept wandering to the way things used to be. My father-in-law has been in Heaven since 1996. I kept thinking about how he always helped my mother-in-law Kerrol with the dishes after dinner and how he got down in the floor to play with the grandkids. I know without a doubt that he and Peyton are together in Heaven. I am tired of being separated from them and I know Tom is too.

We had a white Christmas, which is very unusual for us. I heard someone say it had been in the mid 70s since we had one. A friend of mine said Peyton probably talked God into giving it to us. I don’t know how things work in Heaven, but if anyone could talk Him into it, Peyton could. Peyton would say, “Aw come on, You know You want to.” and then smile that big Peyton smile. I miss that smile.

This is what our place looked like this morning.


I know Peyton is not missing out on anything, but I am. I wanted to see him rough housing in the snow with the cousins and begging to ride the 4 wheeler today. Even though I’ve been living without him for almost 2 years, there are times I feel like he’s in his room or out with friends and I am waiting for him to burst through the door and tell me about his day.

We did have a Merry Christmas in spite of the emotional stuff and I hope all of you did too.

Can you feel the heat coming off of this puppy? Tom kept a fire going all day and I just had to show it to you!!!


Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas Movie

This has been my favorite Christmas movie for a very long time.


The message is relevant and makes you think.  “What would the world be like if I was never born?”  I  hope I have a positive impact like George Bailey or even better…… Jesus.

I have this sign hanging over a doorway in our home……just a little reminder.


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Spirit > Flesh = Victory

I’ve been experiencing some difficult emotional times.  This time of year is especially hard.  On top of missing Peyton, I  have some really big projects to finish at work before the end of the year and it’s Christmas and I’ve allowed these things to stress me out. 

I’ve been very agitated.  Co-workers will ask me questions and I will smile and answer.  The whole time I am speaking, I wonder, “Who’s voice is coming out of my mouth?”  Why are these people so stupid?” What can I say so they will leave me alone?”  Other times, I will give scathing looks and they probably know what I am thinking.  After losing control, I’ve cried and told myself I am a failure.  I know who this is

Rev 12:10

And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.

Even the times when my words don’t match my negative thoughts, I know I am wrong.  It is not my co-workers (or the checker at Wal-Mart) that need to change, it is me. 

Thinking these things over has brought me revelation.  I cannot will myself out of grief.  My flesh cannot control my flesh.  Only my spirit can control my flesh.  I must strengthen my inner man with the Word of God.  Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.

I John 4:4

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world

This next scripture is from the Message bible.  I've started reading this translation along with NIV and I really like it.

Rom 13:11-14

But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can't afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don't loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!

Dressing myself in Christ is not a physical act nor is it “making up my mind” to do it.  Deciding may be the first step, but it cannot be accomplished in my own strength.  Using the Word and relying on the Greater One inside me, is the only way I am going to be More than a Conqueror. 

I don’t usually post so much, but I needed it to organize my thoughts about the turmoil going on inside me.  Typing on this blog clarifies things for me.  I want to confess things and expose them and rid myself of them. 

p.s. I love my co-workers, they are a huge blessing to me and a constant source of love and support.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

DIM – Do it Myself

Update: I just added a link from another blog. It is DIY day at A Soft Place to Land. Click on the links and check out the other DIY projects.

First of all I want to say, I am not a crafty person. Once in awhile I’ll run across something that interests me and I might try it. I’ve been wanting a Christmas village made from paper for several years. (I know, who wants a paper village?) Last year I found a couple of buildings at Cracker Barrel. I decided to make my own to add to my collection.

I bought buildings at Hobby Lobby that looked like this.


I added some color.


Then I added the important part……glitter. First the roof,


then the rest of the building, with a really fine sparkly glitter. (Martha Stewart brand; not that I’m partial to Martha, it’s what my mom had and it was FREE!) It’s hard to see in the pic, but it’s there.


Here are the homemade ones next to the store bought. A subtle difference, LOL. I had fun doing them.


You can buy several shapes and sizes of these houses at Hobby Lobby. I thought a cute idea would be to decorate one like a gingerbread house. You could keep it year after year.

If you haven’t checked it out yet, click on the Nester Tour of Homes button on the upper left. It will take you to a list of links that will take you to people’s homes all decorated for Christmas. Lots of beautiful decorations and great ideas.

Thanks for reading. I hope you leave a comment. Merry Christmas!!!!!!

Am I Obsessed?

Last night I had a dream about something really cool.  Some teenagers had found this rock quarry where they could swim.  When they showed it to me, I sat down on the rocks to put my feet in the water.  I then realized the rock I was sitting on was soft.  The whole thing was made out of plastic coated foam, like those really expensive mats you float on in a pool.  In the dream, the thing most on my mind was………..WHERE IS MY CAMERA?  I NEED TO BLOG ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!    Do you guys do this too? Or am I obsessed…….or a little nutty?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Things Come Up.

I found this in my bag of empty boxes that I was using to wrap Christmas presents in.


I cried.

I took a picture of it.

I tore it off and wrapped a present in the box.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Cowboy Stuff

I am blessed with great friends. 

Kayli took pictures of Peyton’s cowboy gear for me.  I use when I have prints made.  While picking out which pictures to print, I saw that they made note cards.  I had some of those printed to use for thank you notes when people donate to the Peyton Jackson Memorial Scholarship fund.

The orange item in the pictures is Peyton’s chaps.  He loved those chaps so much.  My friend Annette is a very generous person and had just started sponsoring Peyton in the rodeo.  She paid for those chaps; I know she is glad she did.  I am forever grateful.  He was an incredibly blessed and happy young man all his days on this earth.  Especially happy the last sixth months, because of the people I just mentioned.

Here is another slide show.  These are only a few of the pictures she took.  She worked very hard and I appreciate it more than she can ever know.


Please don’t be offended by the flag.  The boys around here think of it as their history, not hate.  I know it can offend and I tried to explain that to Peyton and I did not allow him to have one.  The flag in the picture was given to us by his friends who had signed it.

This is the picture I used for the note cards.  I think it represents Peyton, without being too much.


Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


I ran across this on the internet. It may save you a lot of shopping time. This item was inducted into the Toy Hall of Fame in November 2008. I didn't see any commercials for it, but I'm sure it was a hot item. Probably is this year too.

Yes, it's a stick. You can go to the website here.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

As Promised – Festive and Joyous

Welcome Nester Tour of Homes!  I had already posted this a couple of weeks ago.  I wanted to spruce it up a bit and I changed some things around.  Hope you enjoy and thanks for coming on the tour!!!!

Tom & I worked diligently and got the house decorated for Christmas the weekend after Thanksgiving. I took some pics and made some slide shows. I hope you enjoy them!

This first slide show is the dining room.

Christmas in the Kitchen!!

This is a slideshow of the big tree in the living room. There are lots of special ornaments on it, especially the tree topper. If you roll over the picture it will give you the title and stop the slides, if you want to look at it slower.

This is a new addition to our Christmas decorations. This is the tree we put in our bedroom. I had to think about it for awhile whether I was going to do it or not. I thought maybe it was going too far. I don’t think so. I hope you like it.

My plan is to CELEBRATE the holidays. I have to. God gave us the Greatest Gift of All. This Gift is the reason I KNOW I will be reunited with my son. Putting together posts like this and decorating a Christmas tree with Peyton’s pictures on it, make me FEEL like a mom. I am acknowledging my son’s life and it feels good. I know I am always his mom, but he doesn’t need me and that makes it hard to feel like a mom. Thanks for reading. I hope you liked the pictures!!!

P.S. This post was incredibly easy to do. I used (thanks Trish) and Live Writer. I may have gone a little overboard on using 3 different styles of slide shows…….but I wanted to try them all!!! I spent a lot more time last year on a Christmas post using Blogger. Importing and then dragging the pictures where you wanted them was a pain.

P.S.S.  I changed up this post just a smidge for the NESTER TOUR OF HOMES.  I ended up using 4 slide shows instead of three.

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

(You’re the first person I’ve said that to this year!)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thanksgiving the Second Time Around

This Thanksgiving has been better than last year.  This is our second one without Peyton.  I want to feel that it is a good thing.  My mind and intellect know it is; my heart is what is having the problem.  My mind knows I have to live life and be productive, focus on others and make a difference for Christ and that I will see Peyton again.  My heart asks me HOW CAN I EAT TURKEY, MAKE DESSERTS AND DECORATE FOR CHRISTMAS, when I will not see my son again on this earth!!! 

People are talking about him less and less, which means I am talking about him less and less too.  I hate the ordinariness and normalness of our lives.  I know we can’t live in constant turmoil about our loss, but the hurt lets you know that you haven’t forgotten.  Again, I know in my head I will NEVER NEVER forget him and others won’t either, but it is hard when I realize we are all going on with our normal day to day lives.

This is another adjustment I have to make.  Am I going to accept the passage of time and healing with grace and victory?  Or am I going to draw back and wallow in the grief, because it makes me feel loyal to my son? 

I know what to do.  I know what choice to make. 

I promise a more joyous and festive post for tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Christmas is Coming

I know.  It’s a little early but……… I’m posting it anyway.

One of my favorite things to watch at Christmas.  (Enjoy PK)

Last year at this time, I wanted to post this video and couldn’t figure out how to do it.  I’ve definitely improved.

My mom bought me this Charlie Brown tree this year to add to my decorations.  Too cute.  It even has a Linus blanket around it.


Monday, November 23, 2009

Mad Skillz

I have blogged about my husband several times.  I’ve shown several sides of him. 

Saddle skillz

Pig roast pit digging skillz,

Bible superhero skillz,

Handy man skillz

(Yes, I like the Z; it’s how we roll.)

Now I am going to show you his mad skillz.  Tom is a machinist by trade and can weld like nobody’s business.  Metal is a medium he is very comfortable with.  So here they are, his mad skillz.


He has been making knives since he was in high school, many moons ago.  He had the sheath made by somebody Peyton had met through rodeo.  This particular one happens to be a gift for……..Mr. Peanut.  Get it?

Over the years, Tom has supplemented our income by making and selling these handcrafted, shiny, deer slicing, pieces of art.  Several years I bought every Christmas present we gave with “knife money”.  God is good and He’s anointed my husband to make knives.  Our financial condition has improved significantly over the years, but Tom still enjoys making knives.  Several of the boys have them and we gave Peyton’s to a good friend of his.  It is so good to give Peyton’s things to people we know will use them and respect them and think of Peyton every time.

After the “Verseman” post the other day, I had to write something more macho about my husband.  He is a good sport and I love every skilled side of him.  He is a complete person, nothing missing, nothing broken, an anointed man of God.

Thank you Lord for my husband.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


I'm having a difficult time today and needed to smile. I thought I would post something humorous. I hope Tom thinks it is humorous too!

I know I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. My husband is awesome and he has always been awesome. The picture below proves it. It was taken several years ago when he was helping out with a Kid's Crusade at our church. He was "Verseman". He would come out and teach the kids the memory verse for that night. He is wearing a black full body unitard with smiley face boxers over it, a cape, and a huge V on his chest. In case you don't recognize the little red haired boy; it's Peyton.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Peyton's Plan - Peyton Story #5

A couple of weeks ago I was cleaning out my closet and ran across this. It must have been done somewhere around 3rd grade. It is a plan to "ambush" some girls on the playground. (Click on the picture to enlarge it). I wanted to cry this morning thinking about this picture and the fact that I have nothing current to share, only the past. But I won't cry (too much), I will smile and remember Peyton and his devious grin and his quick mind. I love you Peyton Jackson.

Monday, November 9, 2009

A New Battle

I haven’t written about missing Peyton as often as I used to.  I still miss him all the time.  The hard times are fewer and further between, but I have my moments.  I don’t write about it as much because there is nothing new to say about it.

In the beginning, I told myself over and over and over that Peyton was in Heaven and I would not see him again on this earth.  I felt if I told myself enough times, it would seem real.  The fact would soak into my brain and I would get used to it.  I live with it every day and there are still times it is unbelievable.

There is no longer a voice screaming in my head that I want him back.  There is a voice, but it isn’t screaming.  The weight that was on my chest isn’t there anymore.  I don’t know if it lifted all at once or if it got lighter and lighter until it wasn’t there. 

For so long my main focus was getting through each hour, each day, each week without losing my mind.  The battle has changed.  I keep wondering and thinking about what would Peyton  be doing if he were here.  How would things be different? 

This is not where my focus should be.  It is not living, wondering what if or if only.  It sneaks up on you at first.  I see Peyton’s friends living their lives and I think, What would Peyton be doing/saying etc.

When I catch myself doing this, I turn it around.  Instead of thinking about what he ISN’T doing on this earth, I think, “What IS PEYTON DOING IN HEAVEN?  What assignments has God given him?  I believe Heaven to be a very productive place.  Who has he met?  What was the reunion like between Peyton and his grandpa?  They had been separated for 13 years.  They are very close.  (did you notice I said are very close?)  I never imagined that Peyton would see him before we did.

I am looking forward to the future and seeing my boy again, but until then I will remember Peyton with joy.  I confessed and believed that for so long.  I had forgotten it until just now.  His memories do bring me joy, I want the thought of the present to bring me joy too.  I’ve slacked off writing “lists” so here goes.

My present is

filled with people who love me.

important and productive.

filled with opportunities to bless others.

a time for growth and strengthening myself.



bringing me closer to my future.


Sunday, November 8, 2009

Weekend Recap

We had a very full weekend around the Jackson house. 

Friday – took off work at noon, YAY!!  Came home and made a humongous pot of potato soup.  10 pounds of potatoes went into that soup.

Tom went to the football game, big rivalry……which we lost by 4 points.  Burke the quarterback, a.k.a. QuarterBurke; who I’ve talked about in this post hurt his knee and didn’t get to play in the second half.  Praying for total recovery.  He goes to the Dr. Monday.

We had a houseful over after the game, which we always love.  The whole pot of potato soup was eaten, along with some BBQ meatballs, jalapeno popper dip, and apples with caramel cream cheese dip.







Got to bed about 1:30 a.m.


Saturday – Went to town to buy a birthday present for a little guy we love so much.  Turning 2 years old soon.  You can find his dad’s blog here.

I saw “The Christmas Carol – 3-D” Saturday afternoon.  It is very true to the original Dickens’ story.  Starts out a little slow and I thought a little scary for small kids.  The picture is incredibly beautiful.  When they are flying over the town, you feel like you are flying too.  The snowflakes look as though they may be landing in your lap.  I’m a fan of 3-D.  Makes you wonder what kind of technology comes next, maybe “smellavision”?

While I was at the movie, Tom had about 5 guys over sighting in their guns at the shooting range he built on the backside of our property.  Next weekend is the start of modern gun deer season.  He was showing them how to sight them in without shooting a whole box of shells.  One of the older guys said, “If you come over here (our house) you can learn something!”  I know that meant something to Tom or he wouldn’t have told me about it.  Tom is full of good stuff and it makes me happy he has people to impart it to.  Peyton was like a sponge and took in everything.  Tom misses teaching him things.  It is more blessed to give than receive.  When your child is in Heaven, a big avenue of giving is gone with them.  We have to find other ways to give and other people to give to.  Lord send them to us, guide us to them.

Saturday evening went to the little guys birthday party.  We had some good food and great fellowship.  However, my husband needs to learn not to play ball in the house.

Sunday – Church.  I don’t think I can adequately convey the message yet.  It was about grace and I struggle with that.  I am convinced it will saturate my heart and I will walk in great revelation.  I need it. 

Grace to take my place and run my race!!!

Project Graduation meeting Sunday afternoon, visit with my brother and his wife on Sunday night.

All in all, a full and blessed weekend!

Friday, November 6, 2009

I'm Networked with Facebook

When I post on my blog, I want it to show up on my Facebook wall. I thought I was going to have to change to a new blog format to do this. But behold.........all things are now connected. Thanks to Tammy. If you are interested it is called It did take me a few tries before it would ask take me to the screen to add my blog, but it finally did.

You can be a follower of my blog through Facebook, I haven't explored it much yet, but I think it will make it even easier to leave a comment.

I'm excited!!!!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The “I’s” DO NOT Have It!

I’ve been battling myself for several days.

I’m not enough of this.

I’m too much of that.

I’m not doing enough.

I’m doing too much.

I’m never good enough.

When I sat down to post tonight, I truly didn’t know what I was going to say.  My mind was full of negative thoughts about myself.  Then I started typing.  All those sentences start with “I”.  Proof once again, it’s all about focus.  The victory comes when I forget about myself and let God work through me. 

There are times when I need to examine myself and make adjustments.  But letting my mind go wild with thoughts of inadequacy is not productive and does not bring glory to my Lord.  I do not need to focus on myself, because God is focused on me.  I can’t beat that.

Father God, I come to you in the name of Jesus.  Forgive me Lord for focusing too much on myself.  I am Your vessel and I am full of Your Glory.  I am Your hands and Your feet.  I will draw on You and Your unlimited supply of love.  I will not clog up the flow of blessing that comes from You, through me, to others.  I love you Lord and I am Yours.

This song came to me after praying, so I thought I’d post it too.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Cold Weather Cooking #2

I hadn’t planned on doing a series on cooking, but I couldn’t think of a catchy title.

This is a picture of some thick, chickeny, dumplin filled goodness.


Are you drooling?  This is some good stuff, if I do say so myself.  Since it has been raining here in Arkansas for 40 days and 40 nights a long time, I thought Chicken –N- Dumplings would be a good meal to fix.  I don’t have a recipe, some of this and some of that but I do have a helpful hint.  DO NOT BOIL THE CHICKEN.  What?!?!?  I’ve always boiled the chicken.  I read somewhere that it dries it out and it does.  I thought, “what difference does it make, it’s in soup for Heaven’s sake?”  It makes a difference.  I used a rotisserie chicken and it is succulent in this dish.  I couldn’t believe the difference it made. 

Do y’all have a favorite cold weather meal?  Please share in the comments!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Before and After

This is the color of our dining room walls before Tom painted them, a very deep red almost a burgundy. Time for a change.

graduation 001

This is the color of our dining room walls after Tom painted them. The picture doesn’t show the color very well, but it is a really pretty green, “blanched thyme” Valspar brand at Lowe’s (if your so inclined.) This color will make it much easier for me to decorate for spring/Easter. I’m likin' it a lot. I’ve said it before, my husband is awesome and I love him so much~


Peyton’s bed before. Definitely decorated for a hunter. I was thrilled to buy that bedding for him. It has the Browning symbol all over it. (the rebel flag was given to us by some of Peyton’s friends after the accident, love the kids, but it is not something I approve of)


This is the bed in Peyton’s room after I bought new bedding. It took me awhile to build up the nerve to change it, but it had to be done. Every time I would walk in his room, it had the appearance that Peyton would be coming home any minute. I couldn’t leave it like that any longer. It was hard shopping for new stuff. I had that tightness in my chest that I had at the beginning of this grief journey. Shed a few tears right there in Kohl's. The deed is done and I am happy with it. I found something not too girly and a little countrified, so I am leaving the deer antlers and a couple other of Peyton’s things to help decorate the space. I’m not finished with it yet, but I will get there.


A close up of the pattern.


I’m going to have another post in a couple of weeks about “Before and After”. It has something to do with this post.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

A Little Lower than Fine

The title refers to this post. Except Wednesday, the day before Peyton’s birthday, I wasn’t even fine. I was distracted, grouchy and sad. I left work early, went home and totally talked myself out of going to church that night.

In the beginning of my grief journey, I was horribly sad and didn’t want to do anything. Even so I knew this was not a good state of mind and I would fight against it. I would list my blessings, praise the Lord, serve others, etc. to conquer the feelings of despair. I knew satan had stolen my son from me, but I decided early on he would not steal another thing. He could not steal my hope, my joy, my knowing that God loved me. It sounds contradictory, but the worse I felt, the harder I fought. (Most of the time)

Wednesday was not like that. The word that comes to mind is insidious. The grief trying to lull me into thinking, “I’ll be ok, it’s just a bad day, things will be better tomorrow”. lies. lies. lies. I took a hold of myself. I’m not settling for being better tomorrow. Things don’t get better on their own. I have to change them. I don’t mean change them in my own strength, but by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of my testimony. I have complete victory. and I will walk in it.

By the way, church was great!

I read over this post several times. I do not mean to make it sound like this has been easy. It is not easy. It is a battle, some days a constant battle. I miss Peyton all the time, even with tears. God gave me emotions and I express them, positive and negative. I am here to say, grief is not my friend and I will not cuddle up with it.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


oct 22 2009 001

I will only focus on my blessings today. I will not sit around and imagine what he would be doing if he were here. That brings me sadness. This boy brought me more joy than I can describe. He was always challenging me to be the best mom I could be. I love that boy so much.

The day he was born he was 10 days overdue. I was hooked up to the drug to induce labor. Four hours later and NO LABOR PAINS, I had a C-Section. He was ginormous, 9 lbs 5 oz and 22 inches long. He slept through the night at two weeks old. I could set the clock by him, bedtime at 8:00 p.m., awake at 8:10 a.m. I am not exaggerating. If Peyton cried, it was because he needed something. He was a very, very easy and happy baby.

Since time in Heaven isn’t like time on earth, I can’t imagine him having a birthday. It’s Heaven, every second is awesome. I want to know exactly what it is like. I want to know what he is doing. He’s been there 21 months. I am selfish enough to want him here. I miss him; lots of people miss him.

This is a close-up of the sign we put in the middle of the flower arrangement. It is perfectly Peyton. Click on the pictures to see them up close.

gravesite poster 001

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Internet is a Good Thing

I have been reading over some of my posts and your comments, and thinking about the comments I have left on blogs. I've said it before but it's worth repeating. The internet is an incredible tool. The way it allows us to share, minister, encourage and make each other laugh is a miracle. I would never have thought I would be doing the things I am doing or writing the things I am writing on the internet.
Every good thing is for God's glory. We make a thing good by using it to glorify our Lord. Thank you for the opportunity to speak into your lives. I am forever grateful for you speaking into mine. Blessings to you all.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Went to the flower shop today to order an arrangement for Peyton's gravesite. Next Thursday is his birthday. I want it to look nice. I was doing well until I got into the florists. I've known the woman who owns the shop forever. Her son went to Heaven before her too. She was on the phone when I arrived so I had to wait a few minutes. Teared up some, but made it through just fine.

Football tonight. I have some posts inside me that are wanting out. I'm thinking it will be soon.

Have a blessed weekend!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

A Full and Blessed Weekend

Friday – Homecoming


parade amanda 2

This girl is beautiful inside and out. We have taken several vacations with her and her family. She and Peyton were good friends. She is a very serious and focused young woman. Her mom stopped by the house one day; Amanda had had a bad day and stayed in the car. Peyton went out to the car, opened her door and kissed her right on the lips and said, “Love ya Babe” and walked away. Made her laugh.

ll homecome 2 001

The picture above is when they were in 1st grade. She was a cheerleader for the little league football team Peyton played on. (This is the south; we start football EARLY) Each cheerleader was required to sell raffle tickets to walk in the Little League Homecoming. If you can’t imagine a Little League homecoming, picture a southern beauty pageant with approximately 150 contestants, each with an escort. It is quite a production and raises a lot of $$$$$$$$$ for our little league program. Whoever sold the most tickets on each team was the Team Queen. Amanda won the title. In Peyton’s 1st grade mind, “if Amanda is the Queen, then I must be the King. I’ll never forget that.

After the Homecoming game, we had friends over and had some good deer chili, etc.

Saturday Afternoon- Taylor

2007 Peyton & Taylor 001

Taylor came to visit us! We’ve known her since before she was born. Her mom is my BFF; she was holding Peyton in this post. We had a chance to talk about missing Peyton and how she’s been doing. She lives a couple of hours away and her friends didn’t know him. I know one thing that has helped the kids around here was having each other to talk to.

Saturday Night – 1st Runner-Up

We went to the Miss AHS pageant. The girl I mentioned in this post, got 1st Runner-up. Very proud


Sunday Afternoon – Project Graduation meeting.

Won’t bore you will details, but it was very productive!

As you can see, we had a busy weekend. Every event was good and had some difficult moments. I sometimes wonder if it is going to get harder when the kids graduate and are living more on their own and we don’t have them around nearly as much. I cannot dwell on or worry about things I cannot control. I can only believe that Tom & I will grow better and better. Our lives are changing all the time. The season we are in now will be replaced with another and we will be blessed in that season too. God has great things in store for us and we don’t plan on missing even one of them.

Father God, I am grateful for each and every moment. I am blessed and I know it. I am strengthened in my inner man with the knowledge of your unwavering, unfailing love for me. I plan to spread it to everyone I come in contact with. I am ready for anything and everything because You live inside me. In Jesus’ name, amen.