Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Power, Love and a Sound Mind

While responding to an email a little while ago, God revealed something to me.  Let me give some background first.

I am having a memory quilt made from Peyton’s clothing.  (I’m really looking forward to having pictures to show you when it is complete.)  The lady I was emailing had asked me where I was going to keep it.  I have a quilt rack in the living room and told her I was probably going to keep it there.  I plan on using it. 

(This is where God comes in.)  I went on to say that I like to incorporate Peyton’s things into our everyday life.  I’m not going to worry about them getting broken, dirty etc.  I want to use them.  I want to LIVE with them.  I believe that if I were to box them up and hide them away, I would be giving the “things” power over me.  That every time I saw the boxes, I would avoid them, etc. It has been hard to go through Peyton’s stuff and take hold of what we can use and throw away what we can’t and give away what would be useful for someone else.  I knew God was with me every step, but I didn’t realize why I needed to do it.  I was compelled to clean and make  use of what I could.  Facing all of it STRIPPED THESE INANIMATE OBJECTS OF THE POWER I had given them.  I can barely type through the sobs, not because of the things, but because God loves me so much.  He carried me through to victory and I didn’t even realize the depth of what He was doing.

The other night, I found another hurdle to face.  I was watching the movie mentioned in the previous post and I started crying very hard.  They were watching home movies of themselves and it got me thinking.  I’ve been wanting to watch a DVD of Peyton (it’s the sports one on my video bar) but I haven’t been able to.  This DVD evokes the most emotion.  It shows Peyton walking, running, playing catcher etc.  He is moving, he is alive and it hurts so much to watch.  I treasure it, I just haven’t been able to watch it again.  But God………………I will watch it and the power I gave it will be gone.  The power isn’t about the emotion.  I’m sure I will cry when I watch it and that’s okay.  The power is about the fear of the emotion. 

2 Tim 1:7

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Please comment, I would like to hear about some of your fears you need to conquer or have conquered.


Kay said...

So true. The things can have great power of us when we let them. And yes it is hard sometimes, to go through that stack of books or those clothes or that lock of hair or those doodles or whatever 'they' happen to be. But like you, it's a pleasure when I can finally look at those things and smile, while being thankful to God for taking care of my heart regarding them, rather than let the thoughts and emotions overtake me. But it's a process and one that you're handling beautifully! : )

seeking him... said...

What a beautiful post full of truth & God's love. You are so right on about fear & the power we give it. I would add that not only do we fear to feel emotion but we fear to feel pain (discomfort of any kind). I just read today again about Jesus refusing the drug that was offered to Him on the cross & it hit me that He is once again giving me an example to follow... in dying to self it will be painful. Don't buy into Satan's lie that I should fear it to the point of not wanting to feel it. That's one of God's ways not being our ways... hardships & struggles leads to hope... death leads to life.
Continuing to pray for you & Tom.

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Mona said...

Becky - great post. You are walking in the Light as He is in the Light. And I will have to say that God gets all the Glory! It's so evident!

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

we cannot live in fear. for greater is He that is in us than anything in the whole world!

david and i are praying that God would bless us with more children. there is a part of me that wants to fear-- fear that something like an illness, accident, failure, anything and everything might happen. but my fear will not control me. God is in control of all. and i will not live in fear.

but man, do i have some weak moments!

love you my friend. praying for you as you face each day, each moment.