Friday, April 6, 2012

What to say?

I talked to the gentleman who delivers our copier paper where I work.  I heard him mention to a co-worker something about a tattoo and then I heard her express words of condolences.  I put two and two together and got up from my desk to see him.  I asked him about the tattoo.  It was very prominent on his upper arm.  It was a portrait of his daughter.  She went to Heaven in January of this year.  His tattoo impressed me so  I ask him who did it for him.  I’m still considering getting one, but the artist has to be just right.  The place he told me about may be the one.

Even though I wanted to see the tattoo, that’s not why I spoke to him.  I wanted to know about his child.  He was working, so we were only able to talk a minute or so.  He told me people tell him it gets easier, but he doesn’t see how.  He misses her more every day.  I’m tearing up right now just thinking about it. 

I wanted to tell him so many things.  I gave him the address to my blog.  He may be reading it now :)

All afternoon I thought about what I should have said to him.  Grief and missing your child isn’t for casual conversation. 

I would like to say:

You’re not going crazy; it just feels like it.


Don’t think about what you “should” be feeling or how much “progress” you should have made in your grief journey in the next year or two or ten.

Don’t compare yourself to other grieving parents.

Don’t try to avoid your emotions. 

Don’t be surprised how many times a day you have to make a conscious decision to keep going.

The heaviness on your chest is “normal”

God loves you and He cares about every emotion and every tear.

God loves you

God loves you.  I can’t say that enough.

I hope these words speak to someone.

Thanks for reading :)


1 comment:

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

I love it when God brings someone across my path-- it's not accidental but for a divine purpose and plan that I don't even know. And I am so glad that even when we don't quite know what to say, that God will give words for the moment and grace for the meeting, even if it's a very short meeting. I'm sure that gentleman needed to know that he was not alone and that God does indeed love him!