Sunday, May 29, 2011

Empty Nest

Tom & I are very different people.  He loves the outdoors, fishing, hunting, etc.  I am an inside person, reading, cooking, tv, etc.  The things we  have in common are our relationship with God, church activities and our son.

Parenting Peyton was the focus of our lives. We share our memories of him and we share missing him.  But we can no longer share his everyday life. 

Parents adjust to “empty nest” syndrome all the time.  It is especially difficult when the empty nest doesn’t come naturally.  In the “normal” order of things, your child or children gradually pull away from you as they mature and then they go out on their own. 

I remember as Peyton was maturing and wanting more independence; it was very hard to let go.  I knew it could be a great battle between us, so I was honest with him.  I told him that he would have to be patient with me; and that it was hard for me to adjust to him growing up, but I would get there.

The time for me to “get there'” was cut short and I was suddenly thrown into living without him.  He’s not coming home for a visit.  Peyton will not bring us grandchildren. 

Tom & I have many surrogate children that bring us much joy, but I’ll be darned if they aren’t growing up and leaving too.  As it should be.  (and they better bring me some surrogate grandchildren in the not so distant distant future)  We still have our favorite little guys to play with and some other babies are already on the way. :)


Thanks for reading :)

This post did not turn out the way I started it at all.  The title was “A New Hobby”.  Tom and I have found ourselves looking for things to do together.  I have taken up a hobby that Tom has been doing for awhile.  I’ll tell you all about it in another post.


MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

i think you handled it very well with being honest with peyton. i am sad for you and tom that your time was cut short...

let's remind each other to look to eternity where there will always be more than enough time and energy for spending time with our boys and each other. i look back on my memories with christian and rejoice for the gift that it was... and just think, becky. heaven is going to be SO MUCH MORE than even our most joyful memories!

Kelley said...

I think it is great that you are finding things to do together. You are a strong couple. I can't begin to imagine what you all have been through. It is tough. You two have been so strong and steadfast in the Lord. He has carried you through.

Kevin said...

Has Tom taken up knitting and crocheting?

Kay said...

It's ok that your post didn't go where you intended. I think it's an excellent one anyway! : ) Yes, I have often thought of the way your parenting was 'cut off' so abruptly and prematurely. But as I've said before, you are walking through this Gracefully, my friend. : )