More Evidence of His Love

I’m sitting in my living room watching American Idol with my best friend.  Her daughter was born 3 days after Peyton.  When we get together our conversation inevitably turns to our children.  We had just finished talking about them and I look at the TV and this is what I see in the crowd.

 

 

I have posted about Peyton being #7 on his baseball team.  There was one year when he played for a team called…..wait for it……Wildcats.

God wants me to know I am not alone.  He cares for me every instant of every day. 

Thanks for reading : )

Pinterest

I am a big fan of Pinterest!! 

How many times have you found something on the internet only to not be able to find it again?  I’ve put websites on my “favorites” or “bookmarked” them, but my list was getting too long.  Pinterest enables you to collect your favorite websites in one place, categorize them however you see fit and pulls a picture to remind you exactly what it was you liked so much.

I’ve got categories for different types of recipes, crafts, decorating ideas, even cool manicures.  Pinterest is unlimited, just like the internet, because that’s what it is.  It links you to your favorite things on the internet.  Not only can you find stuff other people have pinned and pin it to yours, you can find something on the internet and pin it so others can see it. 

It can be very time consuming.  I had to regulate myself and actually MAKE SOMETHING from Pinterest before I pinned anything else.  What’s the point of having all these cool ideas piled up if you never do anything with them???

Here is a picture of a Valentine project I finished yesterday.  I’m experimenting with different lighting for my pics, so yes, this project is sitting in my bathroom sink

Here’s a close up.  I punched a bunch of tiny hearts from scrapbook paper and then glued them in the shape of a big heart.  The paper I glued it on was a precut scrapbook paper, with a red piece of paper beind it.  The frame was on clearance and Tom painted it black for me.  He is an expert spray painter : ).  I think it turned out pretty good.

Thanks for reading! : )

4 years

January 12, 2012 – Peyton has been in Heaven for 4 years.

What can I write about what we’ve been through the last 4 years that you haven’t read from me before?  I’m having a difficult time thinking of something to write so I’ll do my usual.  I’ll tell you what has been on my mind, the ugly stuff and the glorious stuff.

I miss Peyton.  I love him as much as I always have even though I haven’t talked to him in what seems like forever.  Sometimes I think about what we are missing because he is not here.  I want to know what he would be like today. I want to know what he would have accomplished. Tears still come.  Sometimes I feel awful and can’t believe this is my life.  When I hear people planning for the future, say 10 years down the road, I don’t like it.  I don’t want to think about being on this earth and missing Peyton for 10 more years.  I HATE that there will come a day when Peyton has been in Heaven longer than he was on earth with me. 

Even though these thoughts are with me, I do not dwell on them.  Agonizing over what I do not have is not what God wants for my life.  I know God has plans and blessing for me.  He has never left me and has blessed me abundantly already.  God loves me, that is why I have been able to function EVERY DAY, since Peyton has been gone.  God has equipped and provided me with EVERYTHING  I have needed, not to  just survive these days, but to find JOY.  Working through grief is HARD WORK, but with God all things are possible.  I am a work in progress. 

I know I will be reunited with my son, FOR ETERNITY, never to be separated again.

I have to post some pics of my boy.

Thanks for reading : )

Small Town Grocer

I’ve been thinking about this post off and on for awhile.  A comment on Facebook brought it to the front of my thoughts, so here it is.

There is a man in our town that owned the local grocery store.  His name is Leonard.  I don’t know the dates that he owned it.  I only know I have known him most of my life in that store.  He retired a few years ago.  The celebration that was thrown honored him in a great way.  There were door prizes, cake, etc.  What was so amazing was the town’s support of this endeavor.  I know many, many merchants donated prizes and made this day special.  It is so good to honor someone while they are around to enjoy it!!

I’m sure Leonard was buddies with a lot of the kids that came through his store.  I believe that Peyton held a special place in his heart.  Leonard lives not to far down the road from us and we see him working out in his yard, mowing, weeding, putting up Christmas lights and the like.  One day, Peyton and I were driving past his place while Leonard was mowing.  Peyton turned to me and said, “Mom, do you think I could work for Leonard someday?”  I said, “I’m sure you could get a job in his store when you are old enough (Peyton was around 7 or 8 at this time)  Peyton looks at me and says, “not in the store, in his YARD, I want to drive his tractor!”  I love that kid!!

After Peyton’s accident, I would see Leonard in the store.  He expressed his condolences.  But there was more in his eyes.  You see, Leonard’s son is also in Heaven.  Lenny has been in Heaven since the mid 80s.  He was a great guy.  I didn’t know him well, just the friendliness he showed when I would go into the store.  But I will never forget him.

Lenny and Leonard are two people who brought me comfort and they didn’t know it.  I saw Leonard carry on after the death, moving to Heaven of his son.  When the fear would grip me that people would forget Peyton, I would remember Lenny.  This person with a warm personality and friendly demeanor is in my mind and heart forever.  This fact gives me comfort and a knowing that my boy won’t be forgotten either.

Thanks for reading : )