Friday, May 1, 2009

Hugs for Eternity

I dreamed about Peyton this morning. He was younger, probably around 12. I was in a crowd of people and he walked in the room. Everyone turned and looked and said hey to him. I swooped down on my knees and hugged him with my eyes closed and I said, "Oh Peyton I can smell you." Then I woke up. That was not satisfying at all. I wanted to cry and not get up. Not getting up would just lead to more crying. Grief is a limit. I will not have it.

Last night Tom & I were talking about how we were doing. I talked about how people say, I wish I could see, hug, talk, etc. to their loved one one more time. I never felt that. There was nothing unsaid or undone about our relationship. I feel "one more time" would take me back to the first stages of grief and I don't want any part of that.

I will be able to hug Peyton for eternity.

Father God, I come to you with thanksgiving. You have provided a way that we can have a wonderful earthly life and then experience even better things when this earthly life is finished. You are Perfect, Wonderful, Ever Faithful. You love me more than I love myself. Hug Peyton for me today.


dar said...

Ever thought of making a copy of all of your posts and keeping them in a 3 ring binder. Your journey - in a book format - could be a future endeavor that could be such a healing balm to many! Just a thought!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Dar! That would be SO cool!
I know God did just what you asked today...and more than once! :)

ps said...

Oh I am so glad you have the Word of God and the joy of your salvation! Peyton is getting plenty of love and I believe with a little extra for good measure, just because you asked.

Landon Parker said...

Dar wrote exactly what I was going to say. I thought I was reading a book there.
It's awesome what your mouth will say when you're full of the Word!

Jake said...

Many times I don't know what to say, so I don't comment. Today, all I will say is that I enjoyed this post and loved the closing prayer.

Mona said...

Yes and amen to it all!!!!!!

Kim said...

I am so glad you decided to get out of bed Friday! I guess you didn't know what you were in for when you said "let's go shopping" did you? I am a POWER shopper!

I thank you again for the bottom of my heart for entertaining me and taking the time.

Your spirit is amazing Becky! It is unreal to me how many friendships, bonds, blessings, and getting closer to God your son has inspired in people! THAT is amazing!