Thursday, May 28, 2009

My Experience

I read a comment on Facebook about George Strait's wife, Norma. They were wondering if she knew how lucky she is (I am assuming because George is her husband). Someone then commented that their 13 year old daughter was killed in a car accident (accident was in 1986) and Norma's life was ruined. I was going to comment publicly on Facebook about this, but felt too much attention would be drawn to it and my comment might make this person feel bad. So here I am on my own personal blog writing whatever I need to write. I won't worry what people think.

Peyton's homegoing did not ruin my life. It is forever changed and I am left with a huge hole that nothing will fill. I miss Peyton every hour of every day. However, I cannot live with the attitude that it is ruined. How much longer and miserable would my time that is left here on this earth be if that is what I focused on? I do have miserable times. But I do not let them consume me. I am adamant about my life meaning something. For my life to mean something, I must fulfill God's plan and serve others. This keeps my focus on something bigger than me. This in turn, keeps depression under my feet. I am not saying this for you to think I am great and selfless. I am not. I am surviving; some days I am even living. I will not be beaten.

People think that "keeping busy" helps. I think it postpones and makes me tired. After the busyness subsides you are left in the quiet, feeling the feelings you have tried to avoid. (this is when depression likes to try to come) Serving on the other hand fills a need, not only for me but for whoever I am serving. I am part of the biggest plan ever; God's plan, and I will not be stopped. I am living my life with purpose and looking forward to seeing Peyton again. Writing this post has helped me today. I have to remind myself of my purpose to stay on top. The followng scripture tells me if I obey, I cannot be on the bottom!

Deuteronomy 28

3 You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.

13 The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom.

I know the Facebook comment was made out of inexperience. I hope they never experience it. Of course, I do not know the Straits personally, but I have read they have a foundation in their daughter's name. It gives to children's charities in the San Antonio area (coincidentally, we are going to S.A. in June). Sounds to me like they are serving others and living life.


dar said...

That is GREAT! Please consider posting it wherever you read the comment. People need to hear your testimony and how the Word of God is the Light of your life in the face of your storm!!! "if I be lifted up I will draw all men unto Me"! As you lift up Jesus God can bring those who need that word to it to save, heal and comfort!

Kay said...

Love this post! We too have tried to have good attitudes about our experience. I have friends (IRL and the bloggy kind) tell me they're glad we've chosen to be happy and continue on with our lives in a positive manner. But we certainly would not be able to do that without our loving God. : )

couchfarms said...

Becky I am so sorry if the comment on my facebook offended you. The comment I made was just because I am a big George Straight fan. Anita was just being sympathetic to their loss. I promise you she did not mean anything by it she is a very sweet girl. Sometimes we say things not thinking how it will be taken. Please accept my apology!

Trish said...

Excellent post! Couldn't have been said better!! Love you Beckster!

Belinda said...

Becky and Tom you are both so amazing. God is definitely looking down with the biggest smile on His face and saying "Well said". I know you must have your days, but whenever I ever I see you, YOU bring a smile to mine. I love you both. Thanks. Dar is right put that comment all over.

Tammy Nischan said...


Thank you for stopping by my blog and encouraging me today in my great grief. I have such great days and then I plummet into such feelings of sadness and pain. Yesterday was one of those days.

I am thankful that the comment was made on Facebook, because it stirred something in you that I needed to hear today. God uses everything and it just amazes me.

In some ways my "earthly life" does feel ruined, so I know what the person was trying to say. However, I know that my "spiritual life" is on a mission now....a mission to make a difference and to try and bring good from a very difficult situation.

God used a series of events in your life this past week to encourage my life this week....

I am thankful. The timing was God-ordained.

Lori said...

I am new to your blog, but I believe this is beautifully said. And my goodness that pig post above...OH MY WORD. It is almost like "it takes a village" to cook a pig. Ha.