Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas – the 2nd Time Around

Christmas this year was easier than last year, but it was hard just the same. It was hard to keep my mind focused on the here and now. My mind kept wandering to the way things used to be. My father-in-law has been in Heaven since 1996. I kept thinking about how he always helped my mother-in-law Kerrol with the dishes after dinner and how he got down in the floor to play with the grandkids. I know without a doubt that he and Peyton are together in Heaven. I am tired of being separated from them and I know Tom is too.

We had a white Christmas, which is very unusual for us. I heard someone say it had been in the mid 70s since we had one. A friend of mine said Peyton probably talked God into giving it to us. I don’t know how things work in Heaven, but if anyone could talk Him into it, Peyton could. Peyton would say, “Aw come on, You know You want to.” and then smile that big Peyton smile. I miss that smile.

This is what our place looked like this morning.

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I know Peyton is not missing out on anything, but I am. I wanted to see him rough housing in the snow with the cousins and begging to ride the 4 wheeler today. Even though I’ve been living without him for almost 2 years, there are times I feel like he’s in his room or out with friends and I am waiting for him to burst through the door and tell me about his day.

We did have a Merry Christmas in spite of the emotional stuff and I hope all of you did too.

Can you feel the heat coming off of this puppy? Tom kept a fire going all day and I just had to show it to you!!!

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4 comments:

seeking him... said...

Becky,
I have been thinking about you & Tom this morning... wondering how your Christmas went. Glad that it was a bit easier this year. Still praying for you. Your house looks beautiful with all the white snow!

Kelley said...

I love the picture of your house in snow. We only got a little dust. Not much snow like we thought. Christmas time really does make one stop and reflect a lot. I thought about Blake and how he isn't missing out on anything either. He is having the time of his life. We are the ones missing him. We have tried to change our traditions a little this year so it wouldn't hurt so bad. It still hurts.

Darlene said...

Tom, I can really appreciate your building and tending that fire all day. I've done it and when you do a good job it looks effortless but I know it is not! I thought of you three today as I do often and pray for comfort for you and Tom, Becky. Somehow I believe that awful ache of emptyness will be filled in at some point and not last year after year until the three of you are united again in Heaven. Surely your revelation of all the purpose and joy ahead and the Love of our Heavenly Father will become more real than the torture of Peyton's leaving. THAT is my prayer for you both! God bless you and comfort you. I love you!

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

fire looks toasty and the snow looks cold and beautiful!

this year was actually harder for us than last year. i think it's bc last year, we had christmas with david's parents. this year, we got together with my side of the family-- my parents, 3 sisters and their spouses and children and my brother and his family. our last christmas together was in 2007 at my house. :) we were ALL together that wonderful christmas. *sigh*

i can't wait for MY first christmas in heaven! i can't think of a better place to celebrate the birth of Jesus, than being WITH Him!

love ya,
marsha