Exercise…… Physical and Otherwise

I read this on someone else’s blog several months ago.  I have it saved on my computer and read it from time to time.  She is talking about exercise.  I’ve printed it to hang in front of my treadmill.  I don’t remember where I got it from, if you are the author, thank you. 

The truth is:

• Sometimes it's gonna hurt more than others.  I need to push through it and stop repeating the process of quitting when it gets too tough.
• It's not just about exercise.  It's about discipline.  It's about sacrifice. It's about commitment.  It's about finishing the goal that He has set before me. 
• It's about allowing Him to complete a work in me that seems nearly impossible.
• He has given me a body that is capable of exercising...it is a gift. 
• I am not allowed to quit on this one.

It doesn't matter if I like it all the time.

I am learning.  Physically and spiritually it is about sticking to the plan, moving forward, adding more to what seems impossible...because I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13)

As I was reading it this morning, the last paragraph spoke volumes to me.   I am in the middle of God’s plan, I will stick to God’s plan and move forward.  As I am faithful, he will add more to what already seemed impossible.  What was meant for evil, He will turn for good.

The 3rd 4th without Peyton

I am suprised how hard these last few days have been.  (I don't know why I'm suprised!! maybe that's part of my problem)  Tom & I are on vacation.  I think this is the first vacation since Peyton has been in Heaven that we haven't gone somewhere.  The hours at home with nowhere in particular to be gives me time to think.  I'm usually okay with thinking, but not this week.  The 4th didn't happen the way I wanted.  We had a good time and love the people who came to the house but the people we usually spend it with were not able to make it.  These friends remember and miss Peyton the way we do.  I don't want to get used to not talking about Peyton, but this is the way things are headed.  It is natural and normal but I am fighting against it.  I know I will always talk about him, but in the natural course of my life, I will meet more and more people who do not know him (maybe this is all the more reason to keep talking about him)

There seems to be a "settling in" to this chapter of our lives.  The high school activities are over. "Our" kids are growing up and moving forward.  We want them to press on to their futures and live their lives.  Even though this is what we want, it is hard because Peyton is not here doing the same.  It is very hard not to think about what we are missing out on.  I get tired of sharing other people's children, but am grateful to have them.

Peyton has been in Heaven for 2 1/2 years. It seems like forever.  I am having trouble finding purpose in my life right now, but I am not alone.  God is always with me and He never gives up on me.  I know He has great and wonderful assignments and adventures for Tom & I to fulfill.  He is a great God and He loves us so much. 

The words didn't flow out as easily tonight as they usually do.  I didn't want to post at all, but felt like I needed to start typing and see what happened.  I don't think it was much, but I appreciate you reading.  I've read over this post several times and I realized I have made statements then used the word "but" NINE TIMES.  This has to be some kind of record and I'm sure it's not a good record. 

Book “Opinion”

I say opinion, because I don’t feel qualified to “review” a book.  I do however, know what I like and want to share with you.  That’s what blogging is all about, right?

A good friend and teacher loaned me this book last week.

I soooo need a blog photographer, this pic is so pathetic.  The book doesn’t really bow up like that at the top.  I hate to admit it, but I put the book on my bathtub to get this shot.  Oh Nikon D5000 where are you?…………………….enough of that.

About the book.   It is set in Jackson, Mississippi in the early 1960s.  “The Help”, refers to the “Nigra”maids (her words, not mine) that work in the “white folks’” households.  Most of their families  have done this for generations, from slavery to domestics.  The main character wants to be a writer and decides she wants to interview “the Help”, but it has to be anonymous.  It is dangerous for the Help to talk, but she gets them to.  

The book is realistic, but still entertaining and a good read.  I was going to tell you ALL about it, but changed my mind.  Read it for yourself; you’ll be glad you did.

Additional Blog!!

I've started a recipe blog.  As I mentioned in this post, Tom and I were on a Daniel Fast back in January.  This started a new way of eating for us.  We don't eat this way ALL the time, but we do the majority of the time.  Okay, sometimes I go several days in a row not eating healthy.  Like everything else that is good for me, it is a battle.  I am a work in progress and I am getting it right more times than I am getting it wrong.  God hasn't given up on me and I won't either. 

I hope you will check out the recipe blog, "Everyday Healthy".  I think it is a vital tool to keep myself eating healthy and I hope it will inspire you to eat healthier too!!!

Connected to Heaven

I have moments I know I am connected to Heaven.  I can’t see it, it’s something I know.  It’s something I can’t be talked out of.  God lives in me and He loves through me.  His love is unstoppable.  His love is life changing and miraculous.  His love guarantees me that I will live in  Heaven after this earthly journey is finished.

Our earthly lives are the beginning of something greater.  What I do on earth affects eternity.  Do I live  like it does?  That is my prayer, that I live like I know I am affecting eternity.  My desire is to be so aware of the spiritual that I give no thought to myself.  The Creator of the Universe is concerned about me.  He bought me with a Price.  I have no right to my life. 

What will He have me do?  Can I do it?  Do I want to do it?

^{Roman’s 8:6-8}

For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. ⁷ Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. ⁸ So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

These words seem harsh, but they are not.  We are spirits and can be spiritually minded.   God has only good things planned for us. We can do ALL things through Christ, who strengthens us.

I say, “Yes Lord.”

Graduation 2010

I’m not wanting to write this post.  I’ve been humming along nicely since graduation.  I don’t want to relive  the emotions that are tied to this celebration. 

There were a little over 200 graduates in Peyton’s class(237, I think).  As Tom and I were waiting for the ceremony to begin, we could see some of the graduates milling in the crowd.  There were several wearing their Peyton buttons.  I was surprised and thrilled.  Here are some pics of some of the grads wearing their buttons : )

This is a picture of the button.

I saw someone wearing this button too.

 

We love her.

 

Diplomas!!!

 

Steven & Lindsey

 

Megan & our Shepherd boy!!

The buttons would have been enough.  But that wasn’t all they did.  Peyton’s name was included in the valedictory speech.  It was said,(I am paraphrasing, don’t remember it word for word) “in middle school we had so much confidence in our abilities and believed we could do anything.  Peyton never lost that”…….I went into a little shock when I heard his name and I don’t remember everything that was said.  There were clips shown of his friends saying something about Peyton.  We are getting a copy of the DVD.  I was hoping to have it to post on the blog, but decided to post without it.  I am ready to watch it again so I don’t miss anything!!  We were so honored that they thought Peyton should be included.  There were no adults prompting them or making these decisions for them.  When they asked the principal at graduation practice if they could wear the button, he said he wished he had one to wear.  He had one on graduation night.

This post was not hard to write or hard to get through.  It was hard to start. Writing this post feels like the end.  I’m a little afraid the kids won’t be around as much and maybe the memories of Peyton won’t be as fresh and funny for them.  Graduation is in so many ways a final chapter.  Not the end of our book, but definitely the end of a chapter.  It is the natural way of things.  People grow and move on, but I know they will carry Peyton with them always.  Thank you Class of 2010, you have been a source of joy for us.  We love you and wish you blessings and much success.

I couldn’t write this post without mentioning these people!!

The Peanuts have been a ginormous blessing.  They are great friends.  They share their kids and granddaughter with us.  Thanks for everything.

Happy…………………

I got up from my cozy bed to write this post.  I was lying there with my husband and I said, “I’m happy.”  He said, “me too.” 

As soon as the words left my lips, every fiber in my brain sounded an alarm.  HOW CAN THIS BE???  My baby boy is not here. My life is not complete.  My life is not as it was before. Nothing is as it should be. 

Then the rational side of my heart took over.  Even though things are different, they are good.  Lots of peoples lives don’t follow the paths they thought they would follow.  People lose jobs, move etc.  How can I compare Peyton moving to Heaven to someone losing a job or any of the numerous things people have to adjust to?  Losing a child is life changing, gut wrenching, exhausting, sad and just plain wrong, but my God is bigger.  He is bigger than anything that can happen on this earth.

My heart that was shattered into an infinite number of pieces is whole again.  It has some cracks, but it is in one functioning, loving piece.  God is in the healing and loving business.

When I say “God did it”, don’t misunderstand.  He does not pick & choose who heals and who doesn’t.  He has given us His word and it is our choice to read it and apply it.  Some days I do not want to make the right choice and I’m sure there have been lots of instances when I didn’t choose correctly, but He was always there waiting for me. I’ve wrestled with grief; sometimes afraid to let go.  Not because I wanted to be sad, but because…….(holy cow, I can’t believe I’m going to admit this for all to see) if I remained sad, no one would be able to forget the reason I was sad.  My grief would serve as a reminder to everyone that Peyton was gone.  They might even talk about him after I left the room.  (I really can’t believe I just typed that)  I don’t think I have any more secrets.  My heart is pounding so hard right now. 

I will miss Peyton until I am reunited with him in Heaven.  Will I still grieve?  I’m sure I will, but for the most part, I will be happy, occasional tears included.