Friday, August 27, 2010

It could be worse.

I am not a fan of taking comfort in that expression. 

Tom & I attended a support group for grieving parents for a few months after Peyton went to Heaven.  The stories we heard there were heartbreaking.  Even though we were all in the same situation, the ways we arrived there were very different.  We would leave the meeting so sad thinking about the other parents and the different ways our children left this earth.

We couldn’t help but think, “at least Peyton didn’t die like _______ or _______.”  I felt it was wrong to take comfort in the fact that, “it could be worse.”  We are human and we like to make comparisons.

What if it couldn’t be worse?  What if you are the person that has it the worst?  Where do you find your comfort?  We all have varying degrees of hard times in our lives, everything is relative.  So while it is good to recognize that other people have gone through hard times and survived them, I don’t want to draw my strength from that.  My strength comes from knowing a living, loving God.

I hope this makes some kind of sense.  I hope I haven’t given the impression that I think I’ve had it the worst.  I am trying to say that I cannot draw strength from something of this earth.  I get peace and strength from my heavenly Father.  Earthly things change; God does not.

I would love to have some comments on this. :)

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Becky, I think you couldn't be more right about where to draw comfort from. Christ says to put Him first, trust only in him. All other things on this earth will let us down at one time or another but HE never will. And if we trust in Him, he will give us rest, PEACE...a comfort only he can provide. Others might go to many things in this earth, substances, people, or distractions but these things are sure to lead to disappointment, ruin and destruction. ONLY our God can offer true comfort everlasting!
-Jenny

Kelley said...

Right on target! Nothing on earth can comfort us the way the Lord can. That is where I draw strength.

Mona said...

Oh my, Becky, you couldn't have expressed it any better! That is truth and wisdom at its best!

The Bible tells us that when we compare ourselves with one another we are unwise. For you are right - there is no comfort without the reality of a Living God. None. I also hate the expression, "Time heals all wounds". How many times have we heard that at funerals especially? I've wanted to jump up and scream when I've heard it. Time heals nothing. God is the only One that can heal a broken heart.

It's also such a lie of the devil - the mentality of if someone is hurting/suffering, etc, or there is a need in our lives - the enemy comes and whispers to us that we should be ashamed for even thinking about our own needs when there are so many people who are worse off than we are, and he convinces us to just continue coping with the situation and quit being "selfish". When the truth is God want us to look at how good and how big He is and that He certainly is not going to be "tapped out" should we dare ask in faith for our needs to be met! He is El-Shaddai - the God of MORE THAN ENOUGH!!

Ok, wow, didn't plan on getting on that but it is exactly what I thought about when reading your post! You're a wise lady Beck, and I appreciate how real and how big God is in you.

Jen said...

I absolutely get this post! My family went through a situation in 2008 that was by far the most difficult "thing" I've ever dealt with. Even today, I still compare our situation with that of others who've had similar issues and I guess it's just the flesh that takes comfort in knowing someone else had it worse. But, you are right -- only God can heal our hearts. I like what the above comment says about "Time healing all wounds." I also detest that saying -- no matter what context it's used in. God heals all wounds, all hearts, all hurts if we ask him to. It may take time, but He does. My heart is healed. I couldn't have imagined it would be in regard to what happened, but it is -- Praise the Lord!

seeking him... said...

All I have to say is Amen!

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

Amen!!!

Beckypdj said...

Mona, I think you did express it better :)

Kay said...

So true. I think this is some of our own ways of trying to find comfort in situations for which there is little. And like you said, we only have one Comforter.

Dar said...

Ladies, ladies, ladies, from the first word of Becky's post to the last word of the comment before mine all I kept saying was yes, yes, YES! Thank you ALL! And thank you, God, for everything!

Empty Nest Full Life said...

Our hope and trust has to come only from the Lord. He will truly supply all we need even in the worst of circumstances. No, you cannot take comfort in the fact that it could be worse, our focus is to stay on the Lord. He gives grace for the moment. Thanks for sharing. Jackie

Jennifer said...

I think you expressed it very well - I don't want my comfort to come from anything other than my Savior, either. Satan is the master at getting us to compare - and even in our grief, he can side-track us as he attempts to get us to compare our situations...and even our children! As soon as those words, "At least....." enter my thoughts, I want to stop! - and stop the whole thought process.


Much wisdom in this post - thanks for sharing.

Jennifer said...

Becky - I hope that you can stop by this week for Friday with Friends...we are doing a recap of our summer - which has completely flown by! I know..it still feels like summer but, supposedly, autumn is right around the corner!

Hope you are having a great week. You often come to my mind - just wanted you to know. Praying for you.

Jake said...

I agree with what you have said and several others too. I'll be honest though, it can be tempting for me to use that phrase as a cop out sometimes, instead of tapping into the true provision and blessing God really has for me. What a great reminder to reflect on what is right even when something that is wrong has happened to me!