Realization

Yesterday I realized I had gone a few hours without thinking of Peyton. This is shocking, unacceptable, horrifying and at the same time makes me glad. Of course you can berate yourself.......am I forgetting him already?!!! Of course not. I thought about this for awhile and I believe God showed me that focusing on all the good things, all the blessings and the love people have shown us is pushing out the grief. Slowly but surely the majority of the time I think of my son, it will be with a smile. This is such a process, a work in progress, but there is progress. There has to be progress, we all have things to do here on earth and must live our lives to the fullest.

Andrew shot a deer on Saturday. When I saw the deer I immediately felt (not thought) that the deer had walked out of the woods right in front of Peyton in Heaven and Peyton knew Andrew had shot that deer. Can this be possible? I don't believe people in Heaven can see us on earth, but surely they know things. I won't know until I get there.