Monday, December 15, 2008

Questions

I just posted on Jess & Trent's blog. Maybe I shouldn't have said so much, but I do have questions. Tom & I were taught all our Christian lives to confess God's word over our lives and situations. We did. Of course, we missed it sometimes and maybe took the long way around but usually ended up where we were supposed to be.

It was easy to have faith when our faith had never been tested. In the past, our main struggle was with money, but we could always tell ourselves...seed time and harvest, it just wasn't harvest time yet, so we kept sowing. But when Peyton died, that was different. How could this happen? This was big and important. Where was God? Why didn't He answer our prayers? I never blamed God, I just don't understand. I am missing something.

Since this happened, it has been hard to pray and believe God. Why will my faith work on something that doesn't mean as much as my son's life meant to me? Even though it is hard, I will do it. I will not base my faith on my experience, but I will base it on the Word of God. He loves me and is committed to me.


If we don't quit, we win.


4 comments:

Jake said...

I have had the same questions as you...

Your position of faith is amazing. Just by standing firm in your faith, THIS is a true example for people to follow.

I heard Creflo Dollar put it something like this "a man of faith is like that tree planted near the stream (stream is God). No matter what storms of life come it's way, it will not be moved. It will be there tomorrow, it will be there fifty years from now. And a storm will only make it stronger."

What you said in this post reminded me of this. Faith doesn't make natural sense, but you and Tom are obviously standing in faith, so all I can say is way to go!

Dar said...

Like I recently told you - you and Tom are very brave! And you made a great choice - to LIVE and GET INVOLVED and not to QUIT! But I think you have more understanding than you may realize. For instance, you understand where good originates (GOD) and bad (DEVIL). You were robbed of your son. ROBBED. That is the simple truth of the matter. The UGLY truth of the matter. Wondering how and why is just enough gray area to get parked in a bad place! What a great attitude "not to base faith on experience but on His Word"!!! It is an honor to love and know both you and Tom!

Staci said...

you know, I sat on your comment section of this blog for 30 minutes the other day and couldn't figure out exactly what to say, so I didn't say anything. But I have to say that Darlene said a lot of the things I was thinking, so I will just say "ditto!"

Trish said...

Becky,
You are doing what is right. I admire you for your strength even though you may not feel strong. While, I have no idea what it is like to lose a child I did lose my mother when I was 13. I was already a christian at that time in my life, and I decided "I" could do life without God. Let me tell you I made some of the worst decisions in my life from then until God broke me. I know it is tough, and at times you may not feel too grateful, but you are going to be okay, because God has not forsaken you nor you him. I had to learn that the hard way! I love you and will be praying for you and Tom.