Friday, January 1, 2010

The Rest of the Story - (from yesterday)

Introducing Tallis Cole, born 12-30-09 @ 6:38 p.m. weighing in at a healthy 8 lbs 13 oz and 22 inches long.

Here he is last night.

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Here he is today, much better.

Tallis Cole

He is precious. 

I waited until today to post about him because I needed to get my thoughts together about the events that transpired and my reaction to them.  I was very disappointed in myself.

Tallis’ mom had a difficult time in delivery (yes, she had him naturally)  The family saw things that were frightening and had them very worried.  Tom & I joined the family shortly after we found out there was a problem.

I didn’t handle it well.  I was afraid.  Then to top it off, I didn’t cut myself a bit of slack about being afraid.  But God is good and faithful and He loves me.  He didn’t want me to be under condemnation.  This morning I read a blog and she was talking about Gideon.  Just the story I needed to hear, because I was acting just like him.

Judges 6:13

But sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the LORD has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian.

I was feeling desperate.  I wanted this baby to be healthy and whole.  I didn’t want another tragedy to come to our family.  I had a terrible time getting my emotions under control.  I didn’t get my emotions under control until Tom was praying for Tallis’ dad. 

Judges 6:12

When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.

God was calling Gideon a mighty warrior, even as Gideon was hiding in the winepress threshing wheat.  I am a mighty warrior, even though I was afraid.

Judges 6:15-16

“But Lord,” Gideon asked, "how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family."

The LORD answered, "I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together.

Gideon had a very low opinion of himself, just as I did last night, but God never left him and led Gideon to victory.  God has never left me and I will win.  I do not base my life on my experiences.  I base it on the Word of God.  If He says I can do it, I can and I will because He is always with me.

I wrote this post because the fear I felt is part of the grief journey.  This terrible thing has happened to us and it rattles my faith when other challenges arise.  It is so important to fortify myself with the Word and be ready for ANYTHING.

I thank God for my husband.  He was well able to pray and bring some peace and comfort to us.  Tomorrow……I am going to hold that baby!!!!!!!!!!!

6 comments:

Cindy B said...

What an awesome reminder of how we start out with God and what He can do with us. We must be willing:)

Kay said...

So sweet. I know what you mean about the mind wars at times. Very hard. But don't beat yourself up over these things. They happen. They're a learning experience and a call to be more near to Him... and that's a good place to be. : )

Kelley said...

Congratulations on the new baby in the family! He sure is a cutie pie. Everything will look better today!

Dar said...

Your awesome Heavenly Father just keeps on seeing you through and keeps on and keeps on! And ditto on the cutie pie observation! Think of all the cuddles, snuggles and kisses ahead!

Mona said...

Really good post, Becky. Your walk with God is so real and transparent.

Jenny Beth said...

What a powerful message God had for you in this situation. I hear all the time the saying "If He brings you to it, He WILL bring you through it." I believe this and not only does he bring us through but he uses these obstacles to teach us, whether it is about Him or about what we can be with Him. Thank you for sharing this Becky.